Friday, August 18, 2006

Desire and the Will

(9th Sunday after Pentecost) (Matthew 14:22-34)

Last week, you’ll recall, we reflected upon the part that our desires play in shaping and motivating our lives. We found that we are made in such a way that our mind and will work to accomplish whatever it is we desire to have in our lives: fame, power, money, comfort, and so on.

Desire, however, is only part of the equation. Desire, regardless of the form it takes, can be tamed by the will, if we are willing to exert ourselves, if we are willing to make the effort, if we are willing to pay the price to put our will in charge of our mind, and our will in charge of our flesh. If we will do this, then we can tame our desires, and properly harness their power, and put our desires to work in obedience to our will, in order to live a life that is pleasing to God and beneficial to the salvation of our souls.

This “secret” is revealed to us in the teachings of the fathers. For example, we are told that Abba Mark once went to St. Arsenius to ask the saint why he lived as a hermit, and not in a community. St. Arsenius replied that, in heaven, there are thousands of thousands who have but one will, and that, the will of God, as their own; while among men, each of us has our own will – which is usually not focused on the will of God, but upon the desires of our flesh, and of our pride. The reason ascetics go into the desert is to bring their will into full and complete obedience to the will of God; that is, to have no will of their own, but to so desire to do the will of God that they surrender their freedom of will – a God-given aspect of our very being – in order to do the will of God faithfully and completely, without hesitation, and without question.

But what about us, who do not have the opportunity, or even the desire, to flee into the desert, to live in solitude, so that we may directly confront our weaknesses and our desires? Does that mean we cannot follow the path of the desert ascetics? We have two examples that teach us otherwise.

The righteous Eudocimus was an officer in the army of the Emperor Theophilus during the 9th century. Even as he lived as a soldier, he sought to live according to the teachings of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. He kept himself pure in thought, word, and deed; was generous in giving to the poor; spent his time in the reading of the Bible and other holy books; and above all, was dedicated to coming into the presence of God each day in prayer. He had no time or desire for idle conversation or worldly diversions. His virtuous life brought him to the attention of the Emperor, who appointed him to be the military governor of Cappadocia. Apart from increasing his responsibilities, his life did not change. Having died at an early age (33), his relics were found, after eighteen months, to be completely incorrupt; and many were healed by his intercessions, including a man whose insanity was cured when he touched the saint’s tomb.

Our other example is the apostle Peter, who, as we heard in today’s first reading from the Gospel according to St. Matthew, left the boat in which he and the other disciples were traveling while in a storm, and walked on the water, even if only for a few steps, to be with our Lord. This was an act of will. It was founded on the apostle’s faith – but it took an act of his will to put his faith into action, and to brave the wind and the waves to get out of the boat.

Neither the Apostle Peter nor the righteous Eudocimus were ascetics dwelling in desert solitude. Each of them had lives in the world, with responsibilities, as also do most of us. But each of them set their will to do the will of God, and achieved the same – and so can we, if we choose to do so.

To accomplish this, we need to take time to examine ourselves, and all our decisions, and all our motives, and all our thoughts. Is the action we are contemplating pleasing to God? Is the manner in which we are going to act pleasing to God? Why are we doing what we are doing: to serve God, or to serve ourselves? What does God require of us in this situation? Unless we teach ourselves to think in this way, we will not change what we do, or why we do what we do.

There’s more, of course. We must be careful about how we use the time that God has entrusted to us. How much time do we spend each day in idle talk or activities, which we see the righteous Eudocimus avoided? How much time de we spend serving our flesh? How much time do we devote to the reading and study of God’s Word, and to the teachings of the saints? How much time and effort do we devote to prayer, in which we can, if we choose, draw closer to God?

The world is a tempestuous place; and, unless we are careful, we will do little more than huddle in the bottom of the boat, hoping that somehow we will make it through. Instead, we must gather ourselves together, and summon our will, and take the step, and get out of the boat – and walk with our Lord Jesus Christ each day; to the glory of God, and the salvation of our souls.

Holy Righteous Eudocimus, pray to God for us!

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