What is it you desire? Riches? Fame? Power? Comfort?
This is not an idle question. Our Lord Jesus tells us, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” We are made in such a way that we pursue what we desire. If we want to be rich, or famous, or powerful, or comfortable, the choices we make, both consciously and unconsciously, are designed to help us get rich, or famous, or powerful, or comfortable. This does not always mean we will succeed in obtaining what we desire – but these unfulfilled desires both motivate us to continue, and bring us unhappiness, anger, and even depression when we cannot have what we so desperately want. As such, if we want to be happy, and if we want to be fulfilled, we must know ourselves well enough to answer the question, what is it you desire?
Today the Church remembers and celebrates the martyrdom of the Great-martyr Christina of Tyre, who suffered for Christ in the third century. Born to a life of wealth and luxury, she was also a beautiful child – so much so that her father caused her to live in a tower, apart from the world. In that life, she had everything she needed, including the best food, and servants to care for her every desire. Being a pagan family, there were also gold and silver idols for Christina to use in worship. Her father’s intent was doubtless that she marry a man whose family was equally wealthy and powerful, and so bring honor and glory to their families.
But this was not Christina’s desire. From her tower, she watched the sun by day, and the stars by night, and came to a natural knowledge of God, Who, in response to Christina’s request, sent an angel to her to instruct her in the true faith. Made bold by her desire to love and serve our Lord Jesus Christ, she smashed the idols, and threw the gold and silver pieces to the people in the street below the tower. Her father, in a rage, had her arrested and turned over to torture. She would not renounce her faith, not even when her tormentors cut off her breasts and cut out her tongue. The martyr was put to death by being impaled on a stake.
Do you ever ask yourself what you might do if you had to suffer for your faith, as the Great-martyr Christina suffered for hers? Most of us complain at even the least bit of unpleasantness. How often do we become angry, resentful, perhaps even abusive, when we’re forced to wait in line, or when someone says or does something we don’t like? We’re most likely to respond poorly when the actions or circumstances thwart us as we attempt to obtain our desires – not that we are being tortured, mind you – just frustrated by not being able to have what we want. And so we must ask ourselves: what is it that we desire?
The Great-martyr Christina desired to be one with our Lord Jesus Christ; and pursued her desire with a single-minded devotion that enabled her to endure both physical torments, and the knowledge that she had been betrayed and delivered to such torments by her father. We work and make sacrifices to obtain earthly desires that will not endure; she obtained an eternal reward that will never be lost.
Brothers and sisters, we must first become aware of what we desire, as this is what moves us, and directs our lives. With this knowledge, we must then measure our desires against the teachings of the Church, and the way of life of the Orthodox faith. Are we pursuing what is pleasing to God? Or are we only seeking to please our flesh? If we do not desire to be with Christ, and to be like Him; if we do not desire to be patient, loving, and forgiving; if we do not desire to be holy and righteous – we desire what will lead us to condemnation, rather than into the presence of God, along a path to which we can direct others, as well.
Let us honor and remember the Great-martyr Christina, and all the saints, by examining ourselves; and, when we find our desires are not those which God would choose for us, let us repent, and confess, and beseech God’s help in transforming our lives, to the glory of God, and the salvation of souls.
Holy Great-martyr Christina, pray to God for us!
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